Good Vibe TRIBE

Photo from Google Images

I never realized the immense importance of TRIBE until I moved half way across the country from my home town; where I lived and formed my TRIBE for 45 years.  It's not that I took my tribe for granted, it's more that I never knew what it felt like NOT to have physical contact with them whenever the opportunity presented itself.  If I had time, I could call any one of my tribe and ask if they were available for coffee, a walk, a run, a bike ride or simply to hang out.  That contact has become asking when they have time for a phone call or Skype video chat.  Even though I've lived away from home the last 1.5 years, not a day goes by that I don't think about my beautiful TRIBE back in my Manitoba home.  I continue to make great efforts to stay connected because I value them all so greatly.

Even though my husband and I moved to our dream province, British Columbia, it didn't feel the way I thought it would.  It was compounded by the fact that we moved to a very small town, and were surrounded by many people who already had a tribe of their own.

I so enjoyed being immersed in everything that the nature of British Columbia was providing; all the things we took a chance and journeyed here for: hikes, biking, downhill and cross country skiing, kayaking, river floats; in climates that were enjoyable no matter the time of year.  But I missed my TRIBE.  I had made some friends in my new home but there's never a comparison to the people who you call FAMILY, even if they aren't related by blood.  I didn't expect it to feel the same, but it was more different than I anticipated.

My Gorgeous Manitoba TRIBE

My Gorgeous Manitoba TRIBE

I'm a person who NEEDS a tribe.  Some people are happy to fly solo but I am not one of those people.  I almost feel as though I relate to who I am through my tribe.  They say you are who you surround yourself with.  I felt the sting of a sadness so great that during the quiet times, even surrounded by beauty and my best friend, my husband, made life less enjoyable.  It was compounded by the fact that I felt I had started to make enough friends that I shouldn't have felt so lonely . . . why did they not seem as meaningful?  And even though I had made some friends, my husband and I weren't receiving invitations to evening gatherings or outdoor activities.  It was hard not to question why those invitations weren't coming when I felt like we were developing meaningful relationships.

I spent some time feeling sorry for myself and even shed some tears and then I decided I could either waste time wallowing in self pity or I could create opportunities for those relationships to become meaningful, or even better, create opportunity to put myself out there and make those moments happen.

I took ski lessons, started teaching at the local yoga studio, and continued to put out invites as a means of nurturing the relationships we were already building.  I also cut myself and the people I met some slack; Rome was not created in a day and relationships don't just happen, they are massaged and built over time, and if they are genuine and mutual, they will blossom.  My tribe in Manitoba occurred over my lifetime and grew to the beauty they are today over time, moments and life shared.  I decided to stop wondering what was missing and put my energy into being happy and grateful for what I already had.

I got an idea from social media to start a gratitude journal.  The intention of this journal was to become more present in my day-to-day life, in the moments I shared with each person, each day, and to find gratitude for something every single day, no matter how big or small, so that at the end of my 2nd year of life in my new home, I could look back and realize just how incredible it had been.  Real happiness is not a place, a person or a thing, it's the journey to get there . . . it's the journey in nurturing the relationships with other human beings.  We all have unique qualities that make us who we are.

I've learned more about myself in this last year and a half than I have over my lifetime.  Some of those things were difficult to swallow.  I honestly believe the reason it took moving here to find my true, authentic self was because I didn't have the "distraction" of TRIBE.  What I had was a lot of quiet, spare time, while exploring the beauty that surrounded me, missing my tribe, to look into the window of my life.  Who am I really?  I also had to reinvent the way I responded and nurtured some of my longest relationships, including how to parent from a distance.

The most valuable thing I've learned in this last year and a half is acceptance; acceptance that my relationships with my Manitoba TRIBE will continue to grow and be meaningful because I love and cherish them, and the feeling is mutual; acceptance that I am a great mom and my children are the most important thing in my life, and moving away doesn't change that; acceptance in realizing that life involves constant change and learning how to roll with those changes, including how we relate the people in our tribe (especially our children who are now adults); acceptance that I cannot control the outcomes of other people's lives and that I am not responsible for their choices or outcomes; acceptance that I have the rest of my life to continue growing my TRIBE and that distance and time does not equate the value of any of the members of my TRIBE; and most importantly . . . GRATITUDE . . .  that I have life and health to enjoy my TRIBE.

Since finding this acceptance and gratitude for the woman I am discovering, I have come to see that I am RICH.  When I look back at the past 144 days so far of my 365 days of gratitude journal, I see so clearly that I haven't "left behind" anyone, and the new relationships I've formed in the last 1.5 years are immense blessings.  I have realized just how fortunate I am that I had the courage to put myself out there, make it important, and have been blessed with others who were willing to open themselves and their hearts up to my husband and I.

My Beautiful Kootenay TRIBE

Life is a journey and throughout that journey we grow our TRIBE . . . and mine is a GOOD VIBE TRIBE.  I love you all :)